Yes it can! Looking for a better way to live? Well I think I might have the answer for you.
Think about it, you see self-confident people face their fears head-on, taking risks, overcoming obstacles and getting past them. They see life positively despite impossible situations and they respect themselves. This is something you have been wanting in your life for a long time.
Let’s face it, some of us cannot even confidently decide on what bagel we want with our coffee, much less major life decisions. How can we even come close to doing all these great things we see self-confident people doing?
Well, first up recognize you are not born with self confidence, it can be developed. Hooray! There is some hope for you yet! Self-confidence, here you come (happy dance)!
Guess what, you might be able to buy a new hair color, but you cannot buy self-confidence that easily. Self-confidence is the level of belief in your abilities, who you are and your judgement. Self- confidence can control the quality of how you live your life.
Let’s face it, IF you don’t believe you can, then you won’t.
So how can you build your self confidence?
First up recognize that it is something that can be developed with time.
Like you, I have read 5 tips to improve your self-confidence, heck, I have read the 25 ways to improve self-confidence articles as well, but what I have found is that they are band aid approaches that just cover up the issue, not actually get to the true improvement of the issue.
One of the biggest secrets in building self-confidence I have discovered, ready for it….is mindfulness.
Yes, mindfulness can help you build your self-confidence by you simply using some of its basic principles and building on it.
So what is this mindfulness?
Mindfulness is maintaining a moment-by-moment awareness of our thoughts, feelings, bodily sensations, and surrounding environment.
So how can this help me?
Self-confidence is a belief, self-belief. A belief is a feeling of being sure that someone or something exists or that something is true. Mindfulness is the moment to moment awareness of these beliefs and how they affect every aspect of what you do.
Self-confidence and mindfulness are connected. In recognizing the connection, you can execute self-confidence from the practice of mindfulness. Mindfulness helps you to create a clear path to improve on self-confidence.
Mindfulness is a state of mind you develop; your state of mind dictates your level of self-confidence.
There are three components to developing mindfulness:
Before we get into how to develop these three key areas towards better self-confidence, let’s look at the overall benefits of mindfulness.
Mindfulness can help with your reduction of stress. Making a decision can be filled with tons of anxiety. Mindfulness decreases your emotional reactivity by helping you disengage from things that affect you emotionally and shift your focus to the cognitive task at hand. When you practice mindfulness you become less reactive and more flexible in your ability to make decisions especially in situations that are negative.
Mindfulness can improve your focus and ability to concentrate your attention and suppress distracting information. Distracting information can come from your environment or from your internal voices. Our internal voices, especially doubt, can be an impactful contributor to our self-confidence.
Tell me more!
Let’s look closely at the three elements of mindfulness and how it can be a powerful tool in building your self-confidence.
Staying in the moment of a task is moment-to-moment awareness. How often do you spend time in the moment?
For many people this is - never.
You are always looking at your to dos, what you have upcoming, what you have done and not done, and you often miss actually staying in the moment of many experiences.
Staying focused on the task at hand and deliberately paying attention to your thoughts and emotional sensations opens you up to self-awareness. Being aware of how you feel while you do the task can help you figure out what truly impacts your self-confidence in executing that task.
Sometimes we are so concerned about outcomes rather than completing the task at hand that we miss the emotional sensations that can impact a positive or negative outcome. Moment-to-moment awareness helps you make better decisions and making better decisions boosts your self-confidence.
This second phase of mindfulness builds on moment to moment awareness. Oftentimes we make decisions based on our feelings at the moment. Focusing on how we feel when we make our decision can help US get in tune with what drives our decision.
Are you making your decisions from fear, negativity, positivity or contentment? The emotion you are experiencing at the time you make your decision can affect that decision and subsequently your quality of life.
Decisions based on fear, for example, can force you to make detrimental choices that affect your happiness. If you fear failure you will never go after a promotion at work, even though you are the best candidate for the job.
What if you removed fear from your decision making, do you think you will take more chances – chances that can improve your life?
If you fear the outcome of your making a decision you are not focused on the actual decision. Mindfulness helps you to focus on the decision at hand, not the feeling of fear of the outcome.
The decision at hand may simply be submitting your resume for the position, but because you are fearful of the outcome - you not being selected - you don’t even make an attempt. Focus on the decision at hand – submitting the resume; stay in that moment. The decision to stay in the moment regardless of outcome might just turn out in your favor!
Just being aware of how you feel in the moment can encourage you to course correct. Yes you are afraid, but you can still try.
Being aware of the emotion at the time of the decision - mindfulness, can help you consciously work on converting a negative emotion into to a positive emotion.
The more decisions you make on positive emotions can lead to more positive results. Positive results can lead to higher self-confidence.
You have heard it all before, be positive and make positive change in your life. As we mentioned before mindfulness helps you to stay in the moment, be aware of your feelings and help you execute better decisions.
Better decisions come from decisions made on positive emotions which in turn increases your self-confidence as you go. Mindfulness teaches you to pay attention to these emotions at the moment life is happening.
Tell me how!
There are three steps to developing mindfulness:
An affirmation is a statement of positivity. Positive statements need to be introduced to your belief system for happiness to be realized. Because the facts you currently believe may be the source of your happiness, new facts must be introduced and learnt.
Repeating a positive self-affirmation daily can help you develop a new positive self-view that you can take through your day.
An example of a positivity affirmation is “I am happy and grateful today.” Starting your day off grounded with these words can lead to a stronger mental ability to take on the challenges of the day.
Positive self-views are directly connected to positive self-confidence.
Now that you have your affirmation. Just saying it in the morning in the mirror may not be enough. You need to bring the affirmation into your life. You need to make the affirmation part of your mental state. This is where meditation comes in.
Meditation has many definitions. The first thing to understand about meditation is that it is a mental exercise. Just like your muscles need exercise, your brain needs exercise as well.
Meditation is the mental exercise of using concentration, breathing and the repetition of a mantra or affirmation to develop a more focused mind. A focused mind helps you to be more in control of your thoughts which lead to clearer plans to achieve your goals.
Meditation is the process that leads to mindfulness.
If you meditate with the affirmation “I am happy and grateful today” The repetition of these 6 words allow you to mentally focus on what they truly mean to you. Focusing on what the words mean to you allows you to accept them in your life. The mindfulness or mental state created from the affirmation you repeat during meditation becomes a part of you.
The awareness, new mental state, or new mindfulness of positivity and acceptance - developed through meditation - helps you to create, develop and maintain self-confidence.
If you are constantly aware of how you feel and think, you can make changes that can improve how you react to situations, handle stress, reduce worrying, overcome obstacles or simply keep a positive attitude.
Hopefully you have found these tips and resources on building your self confidence valuable.
Are you ready to take control of your life, develop emotional control, improve your creativity, reduce your stress, let go of negative emotions, learn to forgive, move on and overcome fear?
Well begin with the simple act of mindfulness in everything you do. It might just help you develop that self-confidence you have been looking for. What do you have to loose, or gain.
Have your personal tips on boosting your self confidence?
Leave a comment below to share with our Lifers.